Sometimes life feels achingly paradoxical. It is 10:30 on a Friday night. I have been anxiously awaiting my husband’s return all week, and although he has arrived safely, I just finished eating dinner alone, again.
It would be a generous estimate to say that Mike and I have spent a total of 45 minutes together over the past three weeks. He has been working tirelessly on a McKinsey project, averaging (maybe) one hour of sleep per night. I too have been busy, consumed by work, Dustin’s GreenHouse, Junior League and a weak attempt at “playing mom” to Addie and maintaining our home life.
If this narrative sounds sad and depressing, believe me; it has been gut-wrenchingly difficult for both of us at times. But that is where the paradox comes into play… While I struggle to find quality time with my husband, fret over his jet-setting and insomniatic lifestyle and attempt to juggle all of the balls flying around in my world, I also feel insanely blessed.
When I got home tonight, Mike wrapped his arms around me and just held me until I was ready for him to let go. After being pulled away by a conference call, he came and found me in our bedroom where he stretched out (sideways) on our bed and began eagerly asking about my week. Minutes later, and still sideways, he was fast asleep. Occasionally, he would wake and mumble something about a one-way flight, and about wanting to eat dinner together. Then he would fall right back into his much-needed slumber. By the time dinner was ready, I lacked the heart to wake him. I turned on some music, poured a glass of wine and just started thinking about how outrageously beautiful our life has become.
If this is what my parents meant by “working hard” and “paying your dues,” I think we are headed in the right direction. I am so proud of Mike. I appreciate our health, our home, our wonderful friends, our four-legged little girl and our collective pursuit of big dreams. It may be unconventional and painstakingly difficult at times, but I truly believe we are only a couple of chapters into what will become a beautiful love story.
